Writing multiple drafts did improve my writing. It helped me see my errors without having to ask my teacher why she circled or comment on sentence or word. But it also help me improve my writing over all. It is like that saying, the more you practice something, the more you will get good at it. After revising my article 1, “She and I,” I realized I just kept making little mistakes such as not explaining a text fully or my perspective clearly. For example this is the correction I made that will show my improvement:
The concept of self shows that every person is an individual and has unique traits, that make them who they are. “Self” defines our personality, but self does not fully describe who we are. What makes a person connect to self is their body, mind, and souls combined. Part of me is made up of I am loveable, out-going, smart. I love chocolate, love to eat when bored, and so many more things. However, what makes me unique is the way these characteristic are combined with other aspects of me, such as my values and beliefs. Thus, as portrayed in performer Eve Ensler’s speech, “My Body,” a person is defined by the way their mind, body, and soul work together.
So, as you can see I explain the text fully and clearly. How I came to this conclusion of fixing my mistakes on my own, is by rereading my writing out-loud. I have found this strategy helpful because once you hear your writing out loud and you have a error, you will hear it and say, ‘Oh, No that’s wrong.” I think when people don’t read it out-loud they won’t be able to hear their mistakes because they think there’s nothing wrong with it, when in reality there is mistakes within the paper. Students will learn on their own their mistakes by practicing writing multiple drafts.
When I would revise a paper, I would not focus on just one sentence because I felt that if I were to focus on just one sentence it would not flow with the rest of the paper. So, what I did was I focus on the paper as a whole. I would read out-loud my paper and write on another sheet of paper a word or sentence that I came across that did not sound right or fit in my paper. And once I got done reading, I went back to the paper and came up with different ways to fix my errors so that it would fix and sound right in my paper as whole. In the end, this strategy really benefited me because my paper sounds great and makes sense. The paper that I had trouble with would be my article 1, “She and I” because there was so much I wanted to say but did not know how to put it together. I kept revising and at this point in time I was not doing my strategy, which was reading out-loud, but once I did everything came together. For example I had trouble expressing how Ensler the writer and I connected. But in the end I fixed it and in the end had this to conform I fixed my mistakes:
Thing that I love about Ensler’s speech, “My body,” is how she used the language to express herself, meaning her mind, body, and soul combined. I use language by writing poetry to express my emotions. My poem “Hoping it’s a Dream” expresses how I felt at one point in my life:
“Hoping it’s a Dream”
I wish I could wake-up
I wish I could know
I wish this was made-up
I wish this will not be shown
As though I hoped it was dream
It became my biggest fear
My family nightmare
Not knowing how they will act
Knowing this is a fact
But a serious condition
That will change everything
Scared to death scared of what I might lose
Hopefully they can accept what they see.
Hopefully they can accept me…
This is my self and this is how I expressed my feelings, along with my mind. If my parents did not accept what was to come of me than my mind would be lost and confused. I am not an expert in poetry, but art is one characteristic of me. Eve Ensler uses her own way to express herself in her speech “My body.” She does not use poetry like I do, but she uses a different way. The different ways she uses is through objects and many other things.
Over all, the thing that helps me the most this semester would have to be revising papers and practicing multiple drafts. I cannot express how much this has helped me as a writer, along with improving my writing skills and confidents. How has this helped me, is by letting me be in charge of fixing my own mistakes. I think if I had someone else fix my mistakes for me, I would have not learned anything and my writing skills would not be as great as it is now. It is like that saying, you must learn from your mistakes, so that you won’t do it again in the future. For example, My article 1, “She and I” this article like I have stated earlier was the paper that I was having trouble with the most. Now, if I had someone fix it for me, I would not be able to learn how to explain things fully and clearly. This will have a big affect on me as a writer because in the future, I know there will not be someone always there to fix my mistakes.
The only thing that I struggled with in English 104, was trying to explain things clearly and fully. I have fixed these mistakes by practicing writing multiple drafts and by reading out-loud. By using these two strategies I have noticed improvement in my writing and I am very proud of myself. I have learned the more you practice writing, the more you will succeed in getting better at it. Overall, I would have not learned these two strategies without the help of my English teacher Kim volmer, with her letting us(students) revise a paper and writing multiple drafts, let us be in charge of our paper. Meaning, she gave us our independence of being able to fix our work without having asked, at least this is how I strongly feel. I will continue to use the strategies that I have learned in the future, because I know it will just help me more and it will keep improving me as a writer.