Author Archives: reveal1

About reveal1

I rather tell something that is true, rather than discussing something that is not true. The truth is nothing but mysteries and in some cases, the truth is better off unsaid. So, about me, ill leave it as mystery. So it makes people wonder who i am, what i do, and why i leave such little information..

Reflection

Writing multiple drafts did improve my writing. It helped me see my errors without having to ask my teacher why she circled or comment on sentence or word. But it also help me improve my writing over all. It is like that saying, the more you practice something, the more you will get good at it.  After revising my article 1, “She and I,” I realized I just kept making little mistakes such as not explaining a text fully or my perspective clearly. For example this is the correction I made that will show my improvement:

The concept of self shows that every person is an individual and has unique traits, that make them who they are. “Self” defines our personality, but self does not fully describe who we are. What makes a person connect to self is their body, mind, and souls combined. Part of me is made up of I am loveable, out-going, smart. I love chocolate, love to eat when bored, and so many more things. However, what makes me unique is the way these characteristic are combined with other aspects of me, such as my values and beliefs. Thus, as portrayed in performer Eve Ensler’s speech, “My Body,” a person is defined by the way their mind, body, and soul work together.

So, as you can see I explain the text fully and clearly. How I came to this conclusion of fixing my mistakes on my own, is by rereading my writing out-loud. I have found this strategy helpful because once you hear your writing out loud and you have a error, you will hear it and say, ‘Oh, No that’s wrong.” I think when people don’t read it out-loud they won’t be able to hear their mistakes because they think there’s nothing wrong with it, when in reality there is mistakes within the paper.  Students will learn on their own their mistakes by practicing writing multiple drafts.

When I would revise a paper, I would not focus on just one sentence because I felt that if I were to focus on just one sentence it would not flow with the rest of the paper. So, what I did was I focus on the paper as a whole. I would read out-loud my paper and write on another sheet of paper a word or sentence that I came across that did not sound right or fit in my paper.  And once I got done reading, I went back to the paper and came up with different ways to fix my errors so that it would fix and sound right in my paper as whole. In the end, this strategy really benefited me because my paper sounds great and makes sense. The paper that I had trouble with would be my article 1, “She and I” because there was so much I wanted to say but did not know how to put it together. I kept revising and at this point in time I was not doing my strategy, which was reading out-loud, but once I did everything came together. For example I had trouble expressing  how Ensler the writer and I connected. But in the end I fixed it and in the end had this to conform I fixed my mistakes:

Thing that I love about Ensler’s speech, “My body,” is how she used the language to express herself, meaning her mind, body, and soul combined. I use language by writing poetry to express my emotions. My poem “Hoping it’s a Dream” expresses how I felt at one point in my life:

                                                  “Hoping it’s a Dream”

                                                 I wish I could wake-up

I wish I could know

I wish this was made-up

I wish this will not be shown

As though I hoped it was dream

It became my biggest fear

My family nightmare

Almost near

Not knowing how they will act

Knowing this is a fact

Not fiction

But a serious condition

That will change everything

Scared to death scared of what I might lose

Hopefully they can accept what they see.

Hopefully they can accept me…

This is my self and this is how I expressed my feelings, along with my mind. If my parents did not accept what was to come of me than my mind would be lost and confused.  I am not an expert in poetry, but art is one characteristic of me. Eve Ensler uses her own way to express herself in her speech “My body.” She does not use poetry like I do, but she uses a different way. The different ways she uses is through objects and many other things.

Over all, the thing that helps me the most this semester would have to be revising papers and practicing multiple drafts. I cannot express how much this has helped me as a writer, along with improving my writing skills and confidents. How has this helped me, is by letting me be in charge of fixing my own mistakes. I think if I had someone else fix my mistakes for me, I would have not learned anything and my writing skills would not be as great as it is now. It is like that saying, you must learn from your mistakes, so that you won’t do it again in the future.  For example, My article 1, “She and I” this article like I have stated earlier was the paper that I was having trouble with the most. Now, if I had someone fix it for me, I would not be able to learn how to explain things fully and clearly. This will have a big affect on me as a writer because in the future, I know there will not be someone always there to fix my mistakes.

The only thing that I struggled with in English 104, was trying to explain things clearly and fully.  I have fixed these mistakes by practicing writing multiple drafts and by reading out-loud.  By using these two strategies I have noticed improvement in my writing and I am very proud of myself.  I have learned the more you practice writing, the more you will succeed in getting better at it.  Overall, I would have not learned these two strategies without the help of my English teacher Kim volmer, with her letting us(students) revise a paper and writing multiple drafts, let us be in charge of our paper. Meaning, she gave us our independence of being able to fix our work without having asked, at least this is how I strongly feel.  I will continue to use the strategies that I have learned in the future, because I know it will just help me more and it will keep improving me as a writer.


Artifact: My home

My home

Today the weather seems to be getting warmer. It doesn’t seem as windy or hardly any wind at all compared to yesterday.  The ice is melting and because of it I see lot water now.  As I look around, I start to notice that the rest of the group seems to be sad. I couldn’t explain why they were said, but maybe my mom can.

“Mom? Why does everyone seem sad?” I said.

“My little peg, it’s because some people are having a hard time survive with the weather.” She said.

“But mom I am not understanding?” I replied.

“My dear you are too young to fully understand, but since you’re curious just try and listen. Okay?” she said.

“Yes mom.” I said

“Okay, well my dear we are emperor penguins, which means we live in an area or environment that must have sea ice and be cold.  This is how our kinds survive, but since there has been climate change. It is harder for our kind to live, along with providing food for their families. You see my peg, if our climate changes then the fish we feed on, well it affects their lives too.” She said.

‘But mom how?” I said.

“Well because just like us, they need stuff to survive on. Like food to eat and their environment.” She said.

“Mom?” I asked.

“Yes?” she replied.

“Well since this effects our lives and others… why aren’t those things helping us?” I asked.

“Things? My dear what things?” she asked.

“You know those things that have weird eyes, hair, and mouth and nose…Ummm…Like HIM! Like that big fat thing right there!” I said

“Humans?” she asked.

“Yes mom.” I replied.

“Well because some humans do and don’t care about our kind. For example, that fat human is observing our kind. So that he can see our lifestyle, so that he and other humans can help save our kind, along with other species. You see those things that keep moving back and forth. Well those are video recorders to record our lifestyle. And that big thing that the fat human keeps going into is where they sleep. ” She said.

“But mom, why can’t all humans be like that?” I asked

“My dear it’s because it hasn’t affected their lives. Once it starts to affect humans, they will then try help. You see those people we are watching us, know that we need help now not later. They see our struggles and care so much about our kind and other species, that they are will to take the time and help. The other humans, well they aren’t as passionate as these humans helping.” She said.

“Well how can other humans realize now rather than later?” I asked.

“My dear they will realize when their foods supply starts to go down. You see just like us, they need things to survive. But their food supply is us.” She said.

“ MOM!! I’M GOING EITHER WAY!” I explained.

“No my dear… The fish are going to. I’m saying their food supply is animals such as; fish and other sea animals.” She said.

“But mom… one of my friends are a fish.” I told.

“….My dear..I’m sorry but he’s going die. You do not understand humans will realize when their food supply goes down, because then they can’t survive.” She explained.

“ Mom what do we do then?” I asked.

“My peg, we just have to wait and see what the humans that care do. Don’t worry there are organization of humans helping with this issue. We can just that more humans help this issue. Hopefully the people, who refuse to help, will listen to arguments being said of what will happen if they don’t help.

As my mom continued to tell me more of what’s going on, I started to think if they can’t convince the people who don’t want to help, to help. Then am I allowed to eat my fish friend,  because he is food soo…


Artifact:She and I

Me&HER(revise)

The concept of self shows that every person is an individual and has unique traits, that make them who they are. I do agree that “self” defines our (people) personality, but self does not fully describe who we are. What makes a person whole is how their body, mind, and souls are combined. Part of me is made up of; I am loveable, out-going, smart, love chocolate, love to eat when bored, and so many more things. However, what makes me unique is the way these characteristic are combined with other aspects of me, such as my values and beliefs. Thus, as portrayed in performer Eve Ensler’s speech, “My Body” a person is define by the way their mind, body, and soul work together.

In the speech, “My Body” by Eve Ensler’s, Ensler’s shows how the mind, body, and soul determine the way we think about things. In an excerpt Ensler’s said;

“For a long time, there was me and my body. Me was composed of stories, of cravings, of strivings, of desires of the future. Me was trying not to be an outcome of my violent past, but the separation that had already occurred between me and my body was a pretty significant outcome. Me was always trying to become something, somebody. Me only existed in trying. My body was often in the way.”

Key word: ME. She used the word me about six times in her speech. To describe the things that made parts of herself. She talks about how she had told past events by the marks on her body. I agree with Eve Ensler’s paragraph on parts of herself because, as her speech continues on, she tells what makes the rest of her as a whole. But in this excerpt she explains that self is what prolongs our lives even after we die. It speaks for us by forensics. She stated that the marks on her body will tell the stories that she has been through.

“Thing that I love about Ensler’s speech, “My body,” is how she used the language to express herself, meaning her mind, body, and soul combined. I use language by writing poetry to express my emotions. My poem “Hoping its Dream,” by me expresses how I felt at one point in my life.”

                                                  “Hoping its Dream”

                                                 I wish I could wake-up

I wish I could know

I wish this was made-up

I wish this will not be shown

As though I hoped it was dream

It became my biggest fear

My family nightmare

Almost near

Not knowing how they will act

Knowing this is a fact

Not fiction

But a serious condition

That will change everything

Scared to death scared of what I might lose

Hopefully they can accept what they see.

Hopefully they can accept me…

This is my self and this is how I expressed my feelings, along with my mind. My mind meaning if my parents did not accept what was to come of me than my mind would be lost and confused.  I am not an expert in poetry but it is one of my characteristic of myself. Eve Ensler’s uses her own way to express herself in her speech, “My body” She does not use poetry like I do, but she uses a different way. She does not come straight out and say “I am sad,” she expresses it through objects and many other things.

“I heard stories that got inside my body. I heard about a little girl who couldn’t stop peeing on herself because so many grown soldiers had shoved themselves inside her. I heard an 80 year-old woman whose legs were broken and pulled out of her sockets and twisted up on her head as the soldiers raped her like that. There are thousands of these stories. And many of the women had holes in their bodies—holes, fistula—that were the violation of war—holes in the fabric of their souls. These stories saturated my cells and nerves. And to be honest, I stopped sleeping for three years.”

Eve Ensler’s first sentence stated,

“I heard stories that got inside my body.”

She means she felt the people’s pain who were hurt, or had a tragic thing happen to them.  She expresses her feelings through the stories that she heard.  Using her own characteristics made her audience feel other people’s pain and open people’s eyes on reality. The thing that Eve Enslers and I share is we both use writing to express our self. I have discussed what self as a whole is, shared what makes me a whole, and compared myself to Eve Enslers.

As the performer Eve Enslers speech, “My Body” continues she finally concludes what makes her a whole. In an excerpt she quotes;

“What I learned is it has to do with attention and resources that everybody deserves. It was advocating friends and a doting sister. It was wise doctors and advanced medicine and surgeons who knew what to do with their hands. It was underpaid and really loving nurses. It was magic healers and aromatic oils. It was people who came with spells and rituals. It was having a vision of the future and something to fight for, because I know this struggle isn’t my own. It was million prayers. It was a thousand hallelujahs and million oms. It was a lot of anger, insane humor, a lot attention, outrage. It was energy, love and joy. It was all these things. It was all these things. It was all these things in the water, in the world, in my body.”

What made Ensler a whole is the rest of her body; her mind, body, and soul combined.  She went from having her body being separated from her and only see part of her characteristics, to how her body, mind, and soul made her complete. The concept of self shows that every person is an individual and has unique traits, that make them who they are. And whole is what completes self by having it connect to mind, body, and soul. I showed a part of myself and provided examples to give a better understanding. I also showed how performer Eve Ensler is with herself and also provide examples to get a better understanding as well.


article 2

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encounter last section part 3 final

As I was browsing through other English 104 blogs sites, I realized that the students are no different from my class. Meaning, the way that these students use words and how they use them are not different from my class. I say this because everyone in my English 104 class, has different ways of saying their arguments or statements.  For example, you have the students in my class that use high vocabulary (dumbfounded, etc) and the ones who write exactly how they talk. An example of a student who writes exactly how they talk would be this, Sooo, today I can’t believe she made us do this assignment, like she told us we had to use words and sentences.  This student, as you can see is not the brightest person and no I am not over-doing this sentence.  But the point, I am getting across is that I saw these two types of writing in other English classes. Another thing that I saw my class and the other students have in common was to read the famous Leguin, when I saw this I felt good. I felt good because I knew our class was not the only one in pain for reading Leguin long stories. I’m not saying he’s a bad author, I am simply saying the man writes too much. The thing that I saw that was different was the assignments that were given.  In one of the classes I saw a teacher assigned the students to define/write about anime and interactive fiction.  But as I keep reviewing their assignments I realized, my teacher Kim Volmer gave our class more assignments that challenged our writing.  I thought this was a good teaching strategy because it builds our writing and I am grateful for it. I think if I were to be in other English 104, after seeing their assignments I would think it would be a joke. No offense to other teachers, but freedom of speech.  In the end, I know my English class helped me build my writing and I think they way I came to this conclusion was by revising papers.  When my class was allowed to revise a paper, I saw my mistakes without asking the teacher because I read it over day later.


encounter last section part 2

Amanda Iglesias

Encounter 5

Part 2

As I was browsing through other English 104 blogs sites, I realized that the students are no different from my class. Meaning, the way that these students use words and how they use them are not different from my class. I say this because everyone in my English 104 class, has different ways of saying their arguments or statements.  For example, you have the students in my class that use high vocabulary (dumbfounded, etc) and the ones who write exactly how they talk. An example of a student who writes exactly how they talk would be this, Sooo, today I can’t believe she made us do this assignment, like she told us we had to use words and sentences.  This student, as you can see is not the brightest person and no I am not over-doing this sentence.  But the point, I am getting across is that I saw these two types of writing in other English classes. Another thing that I saw my class and the other students have in common was to read the famous Leguin, when I saw this I felt good. I felt good because I knew our class was not the only one in pain for reading Leguin long stories. I’m not saying he’s a bad author, I am simply saying the man writes too much. The thing that I saw that was different was the assignments that were given.  In one of the classes I saw a teacher assigned the students to define/write about anime and interactive fiction.  But as I keep reviewing their assignments I realized, my teacher Kim Volmer gave our class more assignments that challenged our writing.  I thought this was a good teaching strategy because it builds our writing and I am grateful for it. I think if I were to be in other English 104, after seeing their assignments I would think it would be a joke. No offense to other teachers, but freedom of speech.  In the end, I know my English class helped me build my writing and I think they way I came to this conclusion was by revising papers.  When my class was allowed to revise a paper, I saw my mistakes without asking the teacher because I read it over day later.


encounter part 1 from last section

Amanda Iglesias

From visiting Interstellar Sprawl, the writer Roycerachuk, blog “Text Adventure,” is a very interesting blog.  The style of context the writer use is more of a point of view. Meaning, he is just discusses his prospective on this “Text Advanture” topic.  The writer has a lack in explaining what this “Text Adventure” is and what is it capable of doing. The writer then jumps ahead and discusses him taking an adventure in playing Anchorhead, what does anchorhead have to do with “Text Advanture.” Why “Text Advanture?” Is this suppose to be something electronic, reading, or a fictional story? The writer needs to be more exact on what he is trying to get across to his audience. He also needs to keep in mind, that the audience will not always know what a word means, even if it’s commonsense. For example, if he were to say he’s going to talk about September 11, 2001. He needs to example what this event is and why is it so important to our country. The writer also lacks in grammar, there are a lot of misspelled words and very poor word chooses. For example, the writer says, “I didnt get very far at all in this adventure because i didnt know where to go or what to do but i did learn some thigs about the character that i was controlling.” The writer could have said something like, I did not get far within this adventure due to lack of information, but in the end, I gained that information about the advanture from my mistakes.   I think what the writer forget the important thing when a person blogs, is that to remember it is not just any type of blog. The writer needs to think of him blogging is if he was writing a piece in the Chicago sun times. He needs to act and be a writer, not like a freshman in high school writing on face book page.

I am not trying to be harsh on this writer because I myself am not so great in writing pieces. I am simply telling him, his errors because it will better his writing and how people perceive him as. I am pretty sure this writer has amazing other blogs that I haven’t came across too. And I also know this writer was probably not taking an interest in this assignment due to good reasoning, but in the mean time, this piece “Text Advanture,” needs little more work done and after its fix I think it will be an amazing piece.

“Text Advanture,” by http://roycerachuk.wordpress.com/

 


We must be as one

 

 

 

We chose Edward O. Wilson’s “Apocalypse Now” which is about a biologist imaging that he is writing a letter to southern Baptist pastor. Throughout the letter he talks about religion and science. How mankind was created and what to believe in, many scientist and religious people disagree with the topic and how the Earth came about. If man was evolution or did God created us. Wilson points out that the planet Earth is for both science and religious people. The Earth’s biosphere is being destroy and that’s one thing both sides and agree on. In the letter, he is basically saying that both sides can stop arguing and fighting together to keep the Earth. We think this is an identification of a thesis because he is leading up to his argument of how he and his pastor have different views. He is leading up to explaining how he feels and this sentence is a brief summary of what he is going to talk about.

Wilson explains if religion and science could be united on the common ground of biological conservation, the problem might soon be solved. He mentions that Scientists estimate if habitat-conversion and other destructive human activities continue at their present rates, half the species of plants and animals on earth could be either gone or at least fated for early extinction by the end of the century. The problem is earth O-zone layer is being destroyed by human being. The pollution, factories, and smoke are killing the Mother Nature. Wilson wants to set aside the differences between science and religion for saving the planet earth.  This fact related to his claim because in his claim he was asking his pastor for help because the living nature is in deep trouble and although he and his pastor have different views on things he wanted to come together and put those views aside so they can talk about what is happening in today’s world.   He takes the first step and acknowledges the pastor then explains he needs help. “Pastor, we need your help.” This quote is the explaining how Wilson is reaching out for help. The pastor has more power than any scientist. In the letter, Wilson says that the National Association of Evangelicals has 30 million members. Wilson can’t reach the people like a pastor can. A pastor can spread the word to others about protecting the earth. In the letter Wilson stress on how the living nature is in deep trouble. I deem that Edward’s intended audiences are people from different religions. Although everyone from different religions believe in different things, when it comes to nature and world disasters, we should put differences aside and work together to make this world a better place and to help stop extinction of our species and to just live in a peaceful planet.

As the letter goes on, Wilson explains why he believes in science instead of religion. Wilson argues “You are a strict interpreter of Christian holy scripture. I am a secular humanist. You believe that each person’s soul is immortal, making this planet a way station to a second, eternal life, I think heaven and hell are what we create four ourselves on this planet.” In the passage Wilson says, “According to science, in contrast, humans descended from apish ancestors; our origin was basically no different from that of other animals, played out over geological time through a tortuous route of mutation and environmentally driven natural selection.” We felt that Wilson rubs that in the pastor face and staring to become a bit of a jerk. At first he was extremely humble and was asking for help. “Science says that, as far as verifiable evidence tells, we are alone, and what significance we have is therefore of our own making.” Now Wilson is trying to get his point across why you should believe in science. He starts to talk about Darwin and the Origin of Species.  Wilson was trying to act like science has an upper hand on religion. Even though Wilson was acting like a jerk yet he stills need help. “Indeed, despite all that divides science from religion, there is good reason to hope that an alliance on environmental issues is possible.”

Wilson talks about how evangelicals interest in the environment and are a part of organizations. He wants the pastor to be like some of the religious leaders that supports biological things. The writer continues to inform the pastor that other churches and religions are involved in helping humanity. He starts by naming the involved churches and listing how they’ve helped. For example, he states: In the United States, the umbrella National Religious Partnership for the environment works with evangelical groups and other prominent organizations, including the U.S conference of Catholic Bishops, the National Council of Churches of Christ, and the Coalition on the Environment and Jewish Life. (Wilson page 6). The writer is informing the pastor that although they have some differences, the writer is willing to settle them just to save humanity. Wilson wants to show that it is not just him who is settling the differences; it is other churches as well because they are willing to help humanity, even if people do not believe in their faith. He wants the pastor to be well aware of the argument that one should take care of earth and try to save it.

After reading this passage this reminds me of A Non-Euclidean View of California as a Cold Place to Be by Ursula K. Le Guin. Le Guin uses tons of sources from authors, anthropologists, and so on. She talks about the difference on a Utopia from western civilization and the eastern side. All throughout the essay she use narrative but changes it up to a counter argument. Wilson shares this same format but different concept.  The format being people have different views on things, meaning peoples values and beliefs. Wilson uses science and religion as a concept in his article.  Le Guin uses sources to get her point across about a perfect world also know as a utopia. Wilson uses the same style to get his point across like Le Guin. Wilson continue on using statistics and examples of other religions group that support biology. He is using sources like Le Guin to make the pastor comfortable. Also, I believe he is using other sources so he can be creditable too. Whereas Le Guin uses utopia as the concept of  his article, so these two different authors using the same idea of what and how their paper is, but one uses religion and science, while the other one using people perspective on after-life or how they expect a certain idea or ideal thing to be portrayed as.

Overall, Wilson’s letter to the pastor is a success because he got his message out. We have discussed what the main points of Wilson argument were, which was to help save the earth by using the pastor as sponsor.  Along with compare his works to another writer and say the similarities and differences between the two. This was clever idea because a pastor has more power and connections then a biologist. The pastor is the man of the Lord and wouldn’t want the Earth to be at harm. By Wilson telling him what’s happening to the planet, the pastor will take over. Using sources and being friendly convince the pastor to help. Stressing the world is at risk also had a big part in it. Wilson voice and writing style close the deal with convincing the pastor to help science. At the end of the day, Wilson just wanted science and the bible to be able to exist in the same conversation.

 

Authors:

Tyler Moorehead

Karina Renteria

Amanda Iglesias


encounter

My home

Today the weather seems to be getting warmer. It doesn’t seem as windy or hardly any wind at all compared to yesterday.  The ice is melting and because of it I see lot water now.  As I look around, I start to notice that the rest of the group seems to be sad. I couldn’t explain why they were said, but maybe my mom can.

“Mom? Why does everyone seem sad?” I said.

“My little peg, it’s because some people are having a hard time survive with the weather.” She said.

“But mom I am not understanding?” I replied.

“My dear you are too young to fully understand, but since you’re curious just try and listen. Okay?” she said.

“Yes mom.” I said

“Okay, well my dear we are emperor penguins, which means we live in an area or environment that must have sea ice and be cold.  This is how our kinds survive, but since there has been climate change. It is harder for our kind to live, along with providing food for their families. You see my peg, if our climate changes then the fish we feed on, well it affects their lives too.” She said.

‘But mom how?” I said.

“Well because just like us, they need stuff to survive on. Like food to eat and their environment.” She said.

“Mom?” I asked.

“Yes?” she replied.

“Well since this effects our lives and others… why aren’t those things helping us?” I asked.

“Things? My dear what things?” she asked.

“You know those things that have weird eyes, hair, and mouth and nose…Ummm…Like HIM! Like that big fat thing right there!” I said

“Humans?” she asked.

“Yes mom.” I replied.

“Well because some humans do and don’t care about our kind. For example, that fat human is observing our kind. So that he can see our lifestyle, so that he and other humans can help save our kind, along with other species. You see those things that keep moving back and forth. Well those are video recorders to record our lifestyle. And that big thing that the fat human keeps going into is where they sleep. ” She said.

“But mom, why can’t all humans be like that?” I asked

“My dear it’s because it hasn’t affected their lives. Once it starts to affect humans, they will then try help. You see those people we are watching us, know that we need help now not later. They see our struggles and care so much about our kind and other species, that they are will to take the time and help. The other humans, well they aren’t as passionate as these humans helping.” She said.

“Well how can other humans realize now rather than later?” I asked.

“My dear they will realize when their foods supply starts to go down. You see just like us, they need things to survive. But their food supply is us.” She said.

“ MOM!! I’M GOING EITHER WAY!” I explained.

“No my dear… The fish are going to. I’m saying their food supply is animals such as; fish and other sea animals.” She said.

“But mom… one of my friends are a fish.” I told.

“….My dear..I’m sorry but he’s going die. You do not understand humans will realize when their food supply goes down, because then they can’t survive.” She explained.

“ Mom what do we do then?” I asked.

“My peg, we just have to wait and see what the humans that care do. Don’t worry there are organization of humans helping with this issue. We can just that more humans help this issue. Hopefully the people, who refuse to help, will listen to arguments being said of what will happen if they don’t help.

As my mom continued to tell me more of what’s going on, I started to think if they can’t convince the people who don’t want to help, to help. Then am I allowed to eat my fish friend,  because he is food soo…


revise article 1

Me&HER(revise)

The concept of self shows that every person is an individual and has unique traits, that make them who they are. I do agree that “self” defines our (people) personality, but self does not fully describe who we are. What makes a person whole is how their body, mind, and souls are combined. Part of me is made up of; I am loveable, out-going, smart, love chocolate, love to eat when bored, and so many more things. However, what makes me unique is the way these characteristic are combined with other aspects of me, such as my values and beliefs. Thus, as portrayed in performer Eve Ensler’s speech, “My Body” a person is define by the way their mind, body, and soul work together.

In the speech, “My Body” by Eve Ensler’s, Ensler’s shows how the mind, body, and soul determine the way we think about things. In an excerpt Ensler’s said;

“For a long time, there was me and my body. Me was composed of stories, of cravings, of strivings, of desires of the future. Me was trying not to be an outcome of my violent past, but the separation that had already occurred between me and my body was a pretty significant outcome. Me was always trying to become something, somebody. Me only existed in trying. My body was often in the way.”

Key word: ME. She used the word me about six times in her speech. To describe the things that made parts of herself. She talks about how she had told past events by the marks on her body. I agree with Eve Ensler’s paragraph on parts of herself because, as her speech continues on, she tells what makes the rest of her as a whole. But in this excerpt she explains that self is what prolongs our lives even after we die. It speaks for us by forensics. She stated that the marks on her body will tell the stories that she has been through.

“Thing that I love about Ensler’s speech, “My body,” is how she used the language to express herself, meaning her mind, body, and soul combined. I use language by writing poetry to express my emotions. My poem “Hoping its Dream,” by me expresses how I felt at one point in my life.”

                                                  “Hoping its Dream”

                                                 I wish I could wake-up

I wish I could know

I wish this was made-up

I wish this will not be shown

As though I hoped it was dream

It became my biggest fear

My family nightmare

Almost near

Not knowing how they will act

Knowing this is a fact

Not fiction

But a serious condition

That will change everything

Scared to death scared of what I might lose

Hopefully they can accept what they see.

Hopefully they can accept me…

This is my self and this is how I expressed my feelings, along with my mind. My mind meaning if my parents did not accept what was to come of me than my mind would be lost and confused.  I am not an expert in poetry but it is one of my characteristic of myself. Eve Ensler’s uses her own way to express herself in her speech, “My body” She does not use poetry like I do, but she uses a different way. She does not come straight out and say “I am sad,” she expresses it through objects and many other things.

“I heard stories that got inside my body. I heard about a little girl who couldn’t stop peeing on herself because so many grown soldiers had shoved themselves inside her. I heard an 80 year-old woman whose legs were broken and pulled out of her sockets and twisted up on her head as the soldiers raped her like that. There are thousands of these stories. And many of the women had holes in their bodies—holes, fistula—that were the violation of war—holes in the fabric of their souls. These stories saturated my cells and nerves. And to be honest, I stopped sleeping for three years.”

Eve Ensler’s first sentence stated,

“I heard stories that got inside my body.”

She means she felt the people’s pain who were hurt, or had a tragic thing happen to them.  She expresses her feelings through the stories that she heard.  Using her own characteristics made her audience feel other people’s pain and open people’s eyes on reality. The thing that Eve Enslers and I share is we both use writing to express our self. I have discussed what self as a whole is, shared what makes me a whole, and compared myself to Eve Enslers.

As the performer Eve Enslers speech, “My Body” continues she finally concludes what makes her a whole. In an excerpt she quotes;

“What I learned is it has to do with attention and resources that everybody deserves. It was advocating friends and a doting sister. It was wise doctors and advanced medicine and surgeons who knew what to do with their hands. It was underpaid and really loving nurses. It was magic healers and aromatic oils. It was people who came with spells and rituals. It was having a vision of the future and something to fight for, because I know this struggle isn’t my own. It was million prayers. It was a thousand hallelujahs and million oms. It was a lot of anger, insane humor, a lot attention, outrage. It was energy, love and joy. It was all these things. It was all these things. It was all these things in the water, in the world, in my body.”

What made Ensler a whole is the rest of her body; her mind, body, and soul combined.  She went from having her body being separated from her and only see part of her characteristics, to how her body, mind, and soul made her complete. The concept of self shows that every person is an individual and has unique traits, that make them who they are. And whole is what completes self by having it connect to mind, body, and soul. I showed a part of myself and provided examples to give a better understanding. I also showed how performer Eve Ensler is with herself and also provide examples to get a better understanding as well.


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